Bride's Guide to: questions to Ask during ask potential planners
Pretty is easy; however, execution takes experience!
You will hear repeatedly during your engagement that planning your wedding is one of your life's most exciting yet stressful times, but most people don't tell you how to choose the right planner.
Choosing your planner is more than who has the cheapest option or the best IG grid. You need a planner who thinks strategically, manages logistics, makes intentional design choices, and executes with calm, confident, and experienced leadership.
Because let's be real: anyone can download a free checklist and DIY dollar store centerpieces and call themselves a planner. But not everyone can lead and take complete control of planning your wedding day!
These thought-provoking questions will encourage the planners you consult with to dig deeper than the basics. This will automatically weed out the inexperienced planners and help you find value in what a wedding planner actually does. We are more than a checklist and a price tag. (You'll thank me later!)
1. How do you choose the vendors you recommend?
Look for: A planner who curates your team based on professionalism, communication, and chemistry, not who gives them a referral fee. Please note that a referral fee isn't a bad thing. Don't discount a planner who does this; ask them why they do.
Why it matters: Your vendor team will make or break your day. You want vendor options that not only fit within your budget but also have the same values and a personality you vibe with.
2. How do you maintain the budget throughout the planning process?
Look for: Someone who actually monitors your budget, anticipates hidden fees, and helps you reallocate when things shift. As a bonus, ask them to share a sample budget with you. Although they may not give you a customized download, they should be able to, at a minimum, screen share a past budget they managed if you do a virtual consultation.
Why it matters: A budget isn't a one-time spreadsheet. It's a living, breathing tool. Your planner should help you use your budget with intention. (Not sure of your budget? Our realistic wedding budget blog is a great read.)
3. Can you walk me through your vendor communication strategy?
Look for a planner who leads communication clearly and proactively. You want a planner who is a proper liaison, not a middleman passing messages.
Why it matters: You hired a planner so you wouldn't be in the group chat with (8) vendors at midnight. You also don’t want a planner who copies you on every email. They should give you the high-level details and a well-thought-out plan that includes updates and decisions you need to make without you being involved in the back-and-forth.
4. Do you have strong relationships with local venues and vendors?
Look for a "yes" and specifics. They should mention attending networking events, belonging to organizations, and having a tight-knit community that is always down to help them.
To keep the conversation going, ask if they have vendors or venues they do not work with. This shouldn’t turn into a gossip session. Listen to how they handle the details to explain why they don't work with those vendors. You will gain insight into their character and how they handle stressful situations.
Why it matters: Experienced planners will prioritize risk management and how to get on-site solutions faster when things go sideways. Also, a planner with a strong vendor network should be able to find a replacement vendor if needed.
5. What tools do you use to stay organized and keep planning on track?
Look for: A CRM, modern checklists, planning portals, automation, calendar invites, and regular updates. We use Aisle Planner to keep all the details organized.
Why it matters: This is how communication will be handled throughout planning. You want to have as many planning details on one platform as possible, not just a bunch of email chains you need to refer back to. With that said, if their answer is "I'll just email you," run.
6. How do you help couples make decisions without getting overwhelmed by too many options?
Look for: A streamlined decision-making process and clear guidance. Your planner should do all of the research on the back end and present you with meaningful options. The research should involve more than checking pricing and confirming availability.
Your planner should present you with 2-3 vendor options for each planning category and schedule consultations with each vendor. If you are still unsure after meeting with that group of vendors, your planner should prepare a vendor analysis.
The same goes for event design. If your planner offers design, they should provide a complete design guide with refined details and a plan for how each design element will enhance your wedding day.
Why it matters: Your area has hundreds of wedding vendors, and Pinterest has endless decor ideas. You don't need a million options; you need carefully curated options that suit your vision and budget.
7. Can the planner spell "stationery"?
Yes, we're serious!
Look for: Stationery with an "E" (paper goods), not "stationary" (standing still).
Why it matters: This one's light-hearted but telling. If they don't know the difference between pretty paper details and waiting at a red light… chances are they're more of a "day-of helper" than a knowledgeable planner who understands etiquette, and custom print details.
8. Can you sketch a place setting for a 4-course plated dinner?
Look for: utensils in the proper order and the correct number of utensils, and if the mention b&b (bread and butter) placement, correct glassware.
The planner should ask clarifying questions to provide you with this quick sketch. They would need to know what is being served in this hypothetical situation, such as whether you are having soup, appetizer, dessert, wine service with dinner, champagne, and iced tea in addition to water, coffee, and tea service.
Here is a complimentary download that shows how to set a dinner table.
You can still ask this question if you have a family-style dinner, dinner stations, or a buffet.
Why it matters: Your planner should understand hospitality, etiquette, guest experience, and service logistics, not just floral trends.
(Pro tip: This will help you gauge their personality. Since this isn't a typical question, it will show how quick they are on their feet and if they are playful and engaging. If they show annoyance with this question or become defensive... be wary!)
Want this look? check out our h&b store.
9. How do you personalize your planning process based on the couple's personalities and priorities?
Look for: Someone who asks about your values, story, and preferences, not someone with a one-size-fits-all formula. They should be able to give examples of how they managed this in the past.
Why it matters: A great planner won't just recreate their last event and slap your name on it.
10. How do you build your wedding day timeline? What goes into it?
Look for: Experience with back-of-house flow (catering, lighting changes, transportation), not just "when the ceremony starts." They should paint a picture of your entire wedding day and weave in some details you shared during your consultation.
Why it matters: The timeline isn't just a to-do list; it's the choreography of your day.
11. How do you create a guest experience that feels intentional, not just beautiful?
Look for: Thoughtful transitions, comfortable pacing, and immersive touches that feel like you.
Why it matters: Guests remember how they felt, not what color your napkins were.
12. Who's on your team, and what will they be doing on the wedding day?
Look for: A breakdown of roles, such as lead planner, assistant, production team, etc.
Why it matters: You need to know who's doing what and who your go-to person will be on your big day. The planner won’t have specific details since you haven’t gone through the planning process, but they can give you a production overview.
13. Can you share a time you navigated a major challenge and how you solved it?
Look for: Calm, confident storytelling with a clear resolution.
Why it matters: You're not hiring someone for when things go right. You're hiring someone who can lead when they don't.
14. How do you support both partners throughout planning, even if one is more involved than the other?
Look for: A thoughtful answer that doesn't assume the groom is "just along for the ride."
Why it matters: The best planners know how to involve everyone in ways that feel natural. (Our How to Get the Groom Involved has insightful tips if you're still navigating roles!)
15. What are you most proud of in your past weddings, and what do your clients thank you for most?
Look for: Emotional impact, logistical wins, and happy clients, not just photos.
Why it matters: Their answer reveals what they really care about and how that will align with your vision.
Bonus: What does wedding planning success look like to you?
Why it matters: The answer to this question reveals everything about how a planner defines their role.
If they say, "Flawless photos", that's nice, but surface-level. If they say, "When my client tells me their guests are still raving weeks, or maybe months later, and they felt fully present and stress-free the entire weekend” you've found someone who understands the whole picture.
You're not just hiring someone to make things look good; you're hiring someone to bring all the details together.
Final thoughts:
You need a planner who thinks like an event producer, not just a decorator with a clipboard.
Planning your wedding isn't just hiring vendors and checking items from a generic list. You need authentic leadership and expertise to make your day smooth.
What other questions did you ask your planner? Please drop them in the comments. I love helping couples make smart and confident decisions.
